Sunday, July 15, 2012

To Everything I hope I didn't Lose

"This is gunna be the hardest thing I have to do, is get over you."
I'm feeling that too. You were my absolute best friend and laughing with you is the hardest thing to remember.
How do I get over someone who meant everything to me? How do I get over you when you were the one helping me get over everything else..? I am stumped, I don't know what to do.
I think about you constantly.. not that that was unusual, but now the constant thinking is bringing tears.
You know.. I've gone through this whole "break-up" thing before, and I never wanted to do it again. I never thought it would come to this.. but I'm not completely sure anyone does when they break-up. Break-up sounds like such an amateur word for what we had.
I wonder what you think about when you think about me now.. I think about looking at engagement rings, and when we went to the Animal Shelter to get Zanie, and of course.. I think about that very first night we went out.
December 8th 2011 will always be one of the most memorable days of my life.. I finally got the chance to meet this cute guy I had been crushing on... I can't imagine having a stronger bond with anyone within the first hour of meeting. The way I opened up to you so quickly and the way you listened to every word I had to say. I knew I wanted to be with you, and I knew I loved you..even though I had no idea how.
You became everything great in my life. I always looked forward to seeing you or talking to you. C'mon now.. I was a great student, and leaving school early for a boy... you were so very special. I couldn't get enough of you.
My heart hurts Tyler.. it hurts so bad. And I know yours does as well, and I could never be more sorry for that. I told you I would get better..and I was working on it.. Everything just came at me so fast here lately, my emotions got the best of me and I stopped realizing how much I had in you. You always were there for me, how could I think you didn't care?
I am sorry I hurt you. You don't deserve it. You deserve to laugh and love everyday, and I would love to be that one you share all the special moments with again someday.
I am sorry I hit you.... and embarrassed. I can't believe I did that.. I guess that just goes to show that how you are brought up really does have a huge impact on you, even if you are strong through it all. But it's not an excuse....
I am sorry I stopped appreciating you. That is what has led us to this. And I can not blame anyone but myself. I use to appreciate every little thing that happened to me because I was so grateful. I took you for granted, I am finally admitting. That will never happen again, no matter who I love in life they will never be taken for granted. God puts great people in our life- we should cherish those people. You were always there for me and I should have said "thank you" every single time. I got so use to you being there for me that I forgot why you were there for me. Because YOU DID CARE.

No comments:

Post a Comment